Morbid Mommy

I took a trip to Washington DC this past weekend. It was the first time I have been on a plane since Wade was born. Aaron and Wade dropped me off bright and early Saturday morning. As I was giving Wade a dozen kisses and hugs good-bye he asked me if I was coming back... ummm... Never ask someone who is about to get on a plane if they are coming back! All I could think was, "If I answer 'yes' I am almost certainly going to die in a horrible plane crash and then Wade won't have a Mommy. But, on the flip side, I can't tell him 'no'." So, I dared the gods and told him that I would, of course, be back. Two hours later I was incredibly relieved to land safely at BWI. While I was in DC I forgot about the curse that Wade had bestowed upon me and did not think of it again until I was on the plane to come home and I traded seats with a woman on my plane. "OH MY GOD, WHY DO I HAVE A DEATH WISH???" Everyone knows when you trade seats (or flights) with someone that pretty much cements the deal that one of you is going down in a fiery ball of hell. After tempting fate twice I again landed safely at DTW. It very well may be the last time I ever fly. My list of unfounded and absolutely ridiculous fears just keeps growing. Fantastic.

My friend, Amanda, recently got married. This was her wedding song and I'm absolutely in love with it. I could listen to it over and over and over... The Avett Brothers, "Swept Away".

An evening at the Wayne County Fair.

In absence of the no-longer Annual Michigan State Fair I thought it might be fun to go to the Wayne County Fair. I had never been. I knew nothing about it. I just wanted to eat fair food and see farm animals, maybe take in a demolition derby.

It was... interesting.

The Wayne County Fair is considerably smaller than what I had imagined. It is actually quite small. It's in Belleville, MI so it is a good 35-40 minute haul. Not that 35 minutes is long, it's just a bit long for what turned out to be a somewhat disappointing destination.

There were a mere 3 food stands and very few rides. The main attractions were the animals and the dirt track. Well, turns out for a pregnant woman who is not accustomed to the smell of farm animals, it is extremely difficult to enter a barn full of various animal poop. In fact, it's impossible. So, we only visited the few animals that were outside of the barns.

The derby was $12/person. We skipped it.

So, we got Wade some tickets and let him hit the "rides". He spent quite sometime jumping in a bounce house. The toothless (and I mean lacking all teeth) carny let him jump for well past the 3-minute limit while he talked me up about my pregnancy. He was very interested. It was very odd and honestly, a bit uncomfortable. Afterward, Aaron took Wade on the ferris wheel. As far as I was concerned I may as well tossed my child off a cliff with a used parachute that had been re-packed by a 5-year old. With each spin my heart skipped a beat. That ferris wheel had to of been be at least 50-years old and it was not well preserved. It creaked, it cracked, it was quite rusty, it was my nightmare. I watched, forcing a smile through my terror and waving to my obliviously happy child as he circled precariously through the air. It was an incredibly long and torturous 3 minutes. When they finally safely stepped off that death trap and I was able to breath again, we gave Wade $2 to test his strength.


I wasn't expecting much from him. I'd seen him swing at a piñata before and the force of his swing definitely leaves something to be desired. But, he actually took a decent swing and I was pleasantly surprised with the small amount of gusto he put into it. He didn't ring the bell or anything, but he was able to pick out a prize. Good enough. He left with a samurai sword, it even came with a sheath.

And that was the extent of our trip to the fair, we were on our way home.

As you may or may not know we are in the midst of potty-training Wade. Well, on the way home Wade had to use the bathroom. Wade can't hold it. If he has to go, he has to go NOW. So, we rushed off the expressway and found a secluded spot for him to relieve himself. Wade has never actually peed standing up. He's always insisted on sitting down. So, this secluded spot ended up being the ugly scene of a family break-down and to any possible on-lookers it probably looked pretty unsightly. We were between an abandoned industrial building, tall weeds and a stand-still train with a half dressed, crying little boy. It didn't look good. Bribery finally worked it's magic and we had success! Wade discovered one of, what I'm sure are many, reasons why it's so great to have a penis; you can pee anywhere. I'm still considering getting one of these for exactly that reason. It's very tempting.

The evening ended with ice cream (said bribe) and another successful "man-pee". All in all it ended up being a pretty darn good Thursday evening.

**By the way, I'm well aware that talking about my son's potty training may not be the most exciting or interesting subject to read about, but this is seriously exciting stuff from our point of view.**

I'm currently listening to "Come On Over" by Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan. It played on the most recent Rescue Me episode and it was perfect. It's led to an obsession with finding and rediscovering duets. I'm getting very little work done, but I expect to have a pretty great duet play list soon.

Cheers!